Racism?

Today, I was in class and we were talking about racism and how we thought that racism begun. But, that’s not what I want to blog about. When we were learning about it we started talking about “The Ku Klux Klan” (The KKK). For those of you who don’t know what the KKK is, it’s a racist group of people (I think there based in America) who are against Black people, Jewish people and a lot of other minority groups.

I’d heard of the KKK before tha lesson, but I don’t know, I’d never really thought about it for what it is. I am increadably intrested in that sort of thing (not rasisum, but those sorts of groups) so I decided to do a bit of research on google when I got home.

I didn’t find much, just a definition on Wikipedia and that sort of thing. But I have some things to say about the KKK.

First, those of you who have heard of the KKK, you’ll know they wear big white hoods over there faces so you can’t see who they are. For a group that are apparently “proud” of what they belive, why are they not “proud” enough to show their faces?

Also, has anyone seen Scary Movie 3? If not, in that movie this guy is rapping in a club that’s full of Black people it’s basically taking the mick out of 8 Mile (if you’ve seen that movie). Anyway, after he’s finished rapping they’re all clapping him and then he puts his hood up and it’s just like the sorts of hoods the KKK wear. What? I’m sorry, but I don’t find that funny (and I do find the sort of Scary Movie jokes funny). I just think that one was a bit too sick…what do you think?

Name Worries

(Please read the blog bellow if you haven’t already!)

So ever since I decided “relveal” my name, I’ve received about 15-20 emails asking so many questions. So, just to clear a few things up, here is a quick answer to all of those questions.

First, on my next site I will be calling myself Laura and not Rachel. If you need some time to get used to the idea then I will still be answering to the name Rachel, I doubt it will ever wear off! But yes, I understand that I’ve been known throughout my whole internet life as Rachel and that isn’t just going to go just like that. If you’re an affiliate or someone who’s linking me and you have me linked as “Rachel” I would appreicate it if you changed that to “Laura”, simply because it will get rid of confusion. If you have any more questions then please feel free to comment, email or whatever.

Name?

It’s confession time!

When I first started out making websites, I was very safety concious. Gradually, as I’ve grown up, I’ve learn’t that although you should be careful on the internet, not everybodys out to get you.

So, I have a confession to make. When I first started out, I decided to change my name to make my identity hidden. Now i’ve decided to tell you guys my real name.

My name is not Rachel, my name is Laura

(sorry, this is a big deal for me, haha)

Talk?

So today I found out that for my coursework I’m going to have to do a 5-10 min talk about a subject of my choice. I have to think of something to do it on by next Friday. I’m thinking maybe something about my Poland trip? What do you guys think?

Let me know

Domain!€

I know I was just upset about everything, but I’ve just recived an email from my fantasitic affiliate Vicky that has made my day.

She’s going to buy me a domain!! So, instead of re-doing Coisa, I am going to close if for good and start work on my new domain!!

Thank you so much Vicky!

Down

I’m feeling so down at the moment.

Firstly, school in general get’s me down. I’ve been looking at 6th Form Colleges this evening that I could go to and they all seem like so great compared to where I am now. I really want to leave and go off to college. Yeah, it’ll be more work but I’ll be doing stuff I enjoy, not all the stuff I’m doing now.

Secondly, my friend problems are driving me crazy. I feel like I have no one to talk in detail to it about because I don’t want to feel like I bitching about them, because that would make me as bad as them. I’m sick of having bad friends and I’m sick of the people that I’m friends with. It’s funny because during stuff like this you really learn who your true friends are. And, I’ve learnt that through everything, I have two “real” friends who will stick by me through everything.

I’m starting to think that I don’t want to do this anymore. I dread getting up in the mornings because I know what’s gonna come durning the day. A bunch of subjects I don’t like and a bitchy comment from several of my “friends”. I’m so sick to death of everything. This morning I was almost in tears because I was so desperate not to leave the house. God, I have no idea.

Theatre

So today I was in the sudent support office with someone called Nicky who talks to me weekly and supports me because I find school difficalt. Most of the time we don’t even talk about school, we just talk about how things are going generally, which is good and really helps me. Anyway, we were in the middle of talking and her phone rang. The ring tone was that song I’ve just dedicated the last 3/4 days looking for. So yes, I found it. It’s called Clown Koala by Ed Cox. You can download/listen to it on myspace. Just type “Ed Cox” into google .

I think the friend problems I’ve been having are nearly sorted. Although I’ve distanced myself from a lot of my regular group for the last couple of days just because I feel so let down and board with it all. I don’t mind though. I’ve forced myself to start talking to new people and I’ve made some really great new friends who are all lovely. I think I might be spending more time with them now that I’ve found I can make new friends when I need too.

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but when I leave school I want to work in “Arts Management” which is like backstage in a Theatre. My altime dream is to work backstage in the West End. Anyway, I was looking at University courses the other day and I found one called “Arts Management” which sounded amazing! I was looking at what qualifications you need to get there and it didn’t say much, just an intrest. So I thought I’d email a local Theatre and ask if they’d take on a volenter. Hopefully I get an email back soon..?

College?

It feels like I haven’t posted for ages, and it’s only been about, what? 5 days?

Anyway, quite a lot has happened. Firstly, the friend issues I’ve been having are slowly getting better which is good…but, yeah I’ve been let down.

School has been getting more and more stressful by the second. I should probably be doing my geography coursework right now. Also, everyones started going on about how we should be deciding what 6th form we want to go to (6th form is basically college). I have…5 options? I don’t know, I’m going to a thing on Wednesday that should help me decide. Also, because I’ve pretty much decided what I want I want when I leave school, so I’m guess I’m lucky because I’ll go to a college that offers the course’s I need to get there.

Also, a close friend is moving to Australia at the end of the week. Obvioisly, that’s the other side of the world for me so it’s a big deal. So, I’m spending every second I can on the phone to her.

Take care everyone!

Song Search

Guys, I heard a song today and I really like it. The only thing is, I don’t think it has lyrics (maybe it does, I don’t know) and I don’t know the title or anything. Pleasee help me find it!

The song was kind of a dance song. Kind of electro. I THINK the title of the song was like cloud koaula/clown koaula or something? Please let me know if you know it!

Friend Problem #2?

I’m getting more and more sick of my friends by the day.

Today was a pretty crappy day. You know I posted a blog “friend problems” a few days ago? You know that girl I called “Amy” who I was standing up for, standing up for her against some other friends who I’ve known a lot longer? Turns out she’s just as bad as the rest of them.

So today, I walk into school and everything’s fine. Then a friend, Laura (name changed) walks past me and goes “I’m really disapointed in you”. I’m like, “wtf?” but don’t think much of it, thinking I’ll talk to her later and ask her why she’s “disapointed” in me.

Then my friend Kim (name changed again) comes along and says “Amy’s really annoyed at you, she won’t tell me why”. Okay, so that’s two friends I’ve annoyed already and I haven’t even walked through the tutor door.

Turns out Amy’s been spreading stuff about me, behind me back. I’m not totally sure what yet but…argg. I’m so sick of being betrayed by my friends. The only person I feel I can trust with anything is myself at the moment. I’m so sick of people lying, bitching, all of that. I’m sick of the arguments. We all used to get on so well in years 7, 8, 9. I was thinking about all of it and it hit me.

I get on so well with Amy, but I’m not going to lie, she’s a stirer. She’s two faced, and she’s in with a bad croud. Could she be the reason for all my friend problems?

I’m so confused. I’m so tired of stupid arguments recking my weekends. My friends seem to want me to disapear. I’m not perfect, but I wish they’d realise I’m not going to fade as soon as they get sick of me.

God, I need a confidence boost.